IN A NUTSHELL:

Recommended for:

· People with an IQ of 70 or less

Average Rating: 4/10

Pros:

· A few decent features

· If you accidentally listen to the album you probably won’t die or anything

Cons:

· Having the feeling of losing several brain cells for almost every song

· Almost everything about this album

DJ Khaled, the king of snapchat celebrities has released his ninth studio album. It comes fully loaded with a whole roster of guest features that include Future, Jay Z, Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, Nas, Big Sean, Nicki Minaj, etc. DJ Khaled has been pumping out hits since 2006 with songs like “All I Do Is Win,” “Hold You Down,” and “How Many Times.”

#BringbackSnailDown

(Jacob Marino)

Let’s start with the good of the album. There are a few features on this album that are decent. J. Cole, Big Sean, Nas, and Kendrick Lamar have by far the four best features. However it says more on how bad the rest of the album is than how good these features are. While Nas, Big Sean, and J. Cole do a good job on their feature for the most part, there are still a few lines that are bad or way too heavy-handed. For example, there’s the far too specific and heavy-handed line from “Nas Album Done”

“So I’m asking G’s to go in their pockets

The racial economic inequality, let’s try to solve it.”

Kendrick, however, is responsible for the best minute and 32 seconds on this whole album, hands down. His verse has everything the majority of his music has: sharp wordplay, advanced rhyme schemes, great variety in delivery and flow. His verse alone is enough to make “Holy Key” the best song on the album.

And now, the bad of the album.

I can write a whole lot of things on why this album is bad. Everything from the lyrics, to the songwriting (if you want to call it that), and to the instrumentals are subpar for most of the album. The things I disliked the most about this album though are the lack of any sort of theme or concept, the majority of the lyrics, and DJ Khaled shoutouts in every song.

The shoutouts DJ Khaled starts every song with is a pretty understandable thing to be very annoyed about, I feel. Just when a song can’t get any cheesier or generic sounding, DJ Khaled feels the sudden urge to throw in a “DEEJAAAAY KHAAALED” or “MAJJORR KEEEY” “ANOTHER ONE.” I feel my IQ drop 10 points every time I hear DJ Khaled say something on this album.

The lyrics are pretty cringe-worthy throughout this album as well. Even some of the features that I felt were good still had a line or two that were a little cringe-worthy. Most of the lyrics and subject matter are the same generic, lazy things anyone can hear on the radio at any time. They’re either about being in a club or about fucking some hoes, etc. It’s the songs that try to be “socially aware” that bother me more. “Nas Album Done,” “Holy Key,” and “Jermaine’s Interlude” all have lines trying to question society, but do it in such a heavy-handed and lazy way that they sound more like they’re trying to sound like they’re socially aware than actually being socially aware.

The lack of any sort of concept or theme bothers me too. This album doesn’t sound like an album. It sounds like a collection of generic songs that anyone can hear on the radio at any time. Major Key is such a single-focused album that it destroys the purpose of having an actual album.

I would not consider this a good album by any means, but it is not the worst album to ever exist on earth, either. There still are a few good songs, mostly because of the people featured on them. While there might not be too many people that love this album from first song to last, there aren’t going to be too many people that hate every song on this album first song to last.

Favorite Song: “Holy Key”

4/10

MGCFNGRS:

(Andy-rew Shults)

If you want the keys on how to make a mediocre rap album, check out DJ Khaled’s Major Key. The best thing about this album is the featured artists. A few of the songs were decent thanks to a couple of verses by Big Sean, Kendrick Lamar, and J. Cole. Because of them, I didn’t hate listening to the entire album, tracks like “Holy Key” and “Jermaine’s Interlude” were even borderline enjoyable.

Another aspect to credit DJ Khaled on, is his ability to make a song that sounds like it was meant to be a radio hit. “For Free” with Drake on vocals is catchy enough not to be bothered by. “Nas Album Done” gets the job done but didn’t excite me. Basically every song on the album after that was a trashcan. I’m not a fan of Meghan Trainor, but “Forgive Me Father” was slightly catchy as well, and I am a fan of Wiz Khalifa at times.

Overall almost every song was over-produced and had little to offer in terms of originality, musical depth, or instrumentation. I would not recommend this album to friends that have good taste in music. If you like loud noises, cliche beats, and listening to the same song over and over again then maybe you’d like this.

Favorite Song: “Jermaine’s Interlude”

4.5/10

Mom:

(Luke W. Culhane)

Ugh, Dj Khaled. We listened to his album so that you don’t have to! At least, that is how I like to think about it. In saying that, I think that you understand where I’m going with this review. This album is exactly what you think it is going to be. It boils down to the fact that DJ Khaled is just a big meme. His music is just what memes would sound like if they could be music.

Let’s break it down. DJK purposely developed a ridiculous persona. He is currently best recognized for snapchat stories. I do appreciate that though he is doing the whole braggadocios pop star thing, he has positive messages for his listeners. It’s more “we can do this”, and less “I’m gonna f**k your b***h”. Because let’s be honest, that shits kinda getting old. Why do I think this album is not good? Because you should not mix ironic music with art. Saying “major key” is done so ironically, and very rarely honestly. Yet, the features on this album take their parts seriously. It’s an unsettling mix of effort, and lazy pop garbage. Why did these rappers agree to be on the album? Some of the rappers are well established rappers. If they want to make ridiculous music ironically, I would appreciate it and laugh at it. If these rappers make good music, I’ll listen to it, and enjoy it. But do not try to seriously incorporate “major key” into your lines thinking that it won’t come out like crap.

Fav song: “Ima Be Alright ft. Bryson Tiller & Future”

3.4/10

I'm gunna do you all a solid and NOT put a link to DJ Khaled's website because I know you all have better things to do with your time.

Things like, sitting alone in a dark room waiting for Frank Ocean's new album to drop...