Memories… Do Not Open

The Chainsmokers

Recommended for: 

• People who pretend to like more than the hits, so they play the album one day and realize the hits were sufficient 

Pros:

• Not too long

• Various vocalists 

• It’s on Spotify

Cons:

• Poor songwriting

• Few hits

• Redundant production

• Insincere 

The Chainsmokers’ have released their very first studio album. The electronic duo with smash hits such as “Roses” and “Closer” finally set enough time aside of their busy schedule touring the EDM circuit to slap together these 43 minutes of music.

Memories… Do Not Open, more like Bland Music Don’t Bother Listening. I was so whatever on this whole album. So let’s rip this a new one. 

My biggest issue with this album is the songwriting. I understand that the album is about memories and so on. However, I have to put my foot down. Every pop song/album is always about some cliche romantic situation. Every song on this album has the same audience, “you”. I get that addressing the romantic partner directly might be very appropriate in certain songs. Nevertheless, every track on this album is just that. Sometimes it’s about how much you love them, other times how much the other is breaking your heart. Nothing stands out. There is no story being told throughout. There aren’t even a few clever lines scattered here and there. If you are going to release an album, at least a few tracks need to include satisfactory songwriting. 

The lyrics were not the only thing lacking. The song structures, production, and general musicality were all bland. Want to write a Chainsmokers song? Follow my 3 easy steps. First, pick 4 chords and play them on piano. Next, introduce a synth line. Lastly, throw in a drop that incorporates the earlier synth line. All the while, pepper in a few words about love or heartache. That oughta do it. 

With all this, you probably think I hate the Chainsmokers. To be honest, I do not. I liked many of their earlier bangers. “Roses” had an interesting production. “#Selfie” poked fun at modern stereotypes. This group is not worthless. They just should not have made an album. Instead, they should release a few singles here and there, and continued touring. This album came off as a mere cash grab. Only make an album if you are going to try. 

Favorite song: “Wake Up Alone”

2.5/10