Angelic 2 the Core: Angelic Funkadelic/ Angelic Rockadelic

IN A NUTSHELL:

Recommended for:

• Corey Feldman

• Deaf People

• Insane Asylums

• Prisons

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Average Rating: Not Important

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Pros:

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(^Not a typo)

Cons:

• All of it

Former child star Corey Feldman (from such beloved movies like Stand by Me and The Goonies) has released his third studio album Angelic 2 the Core: Angelic Funkadelic/ Angelic Rockadelic.  This double album is the result of a decade of work and contains 22 songs.  It features some notable names like Snoop Dogg, Fred Durnst (Limp Bizkit), and Doc Ice (UTFO).  Angelic 2 the Core was recently hailed as the worst album of the year by The Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano.

Photo by: Ingrid Richter

Melody Maker:

Wow.  What can be said about this album?  There’s just too much that is ridiculous about Angelic 2 the Core.  The most accurate way I can describe this album is by comparing it to the movie The Room.  To people unfamiliar with the movie, look up a clip on YouTube.  Ya, this album is pretty much that.  This album is very entertaining to listen to, just not for the right reasons.

Earlier this year, we reviewed Michael Franti and described it as hearing your uncle trying to be cool and failing.  This album is sort of the same deal.  Angelic has some of the corniest production, lyrics, and skits I have ever heard in my life.  Every song has a horrendous “this is supposed to be played on the radio” vibe to it, which makes every song more cringe-worthy.  There are strange skits between songs that mash up a parody of Charlie’s Angels with the original Batman TV show, and it does not work.  Corey tries to get political on “Take a Stand,” and that does not work either.  It sounds more like a rejected song for a Ford truck or Budweiser commercial than a politically aware song.  And what better way to end this album than with a cover of John Lennon’s “Working Class Hero?”  Surprisingly, Corey still finds a way to make this cover worse than expected, despite presenting the worst hour and 28 minutes of music I have heard in my life.  Really every aspect of this album does not work.

Like I said earlier, this album is the The Room of music.  It is absolutely terrible from the very first second it starts to the very last second.  However, this album is hilarious to listen to because of it.  In fact, much like The Room, Angelic 2 the Core consistently finds new ways to suck throughout, which makes this album easier to listen to than other bad albums.  This makes rating this thing difficult.  It is definitely the worst hour and a half of music I have ever heard, yet I was still enjoying listening to it.  Angelic 2 the Core is either absolute garbage or genius.  I heavily suggest everyone give this album a spin.  It is something everyone must experience.

Favorite song: I don’t know, man

1/10 or 10/10, I don’t know

Photo by: Louise Palanker

Mom:

Christ, this album. It’s a bit of a wreck, but that is kinda the idea.

In brief, this album is a genre-less shit show with a consistent narrative that weaves throughout it. It is chalk full of crappy religious imagery. Yeah, yeah, we get it, it’s called, “Angelic 2 the Core”. But past all that junk, I’m going to be honest, I did not research this album. Frankly, if you flip it, you will be left thinking “wtf is going on” throughout. So naturally I wanted to look into the artist and the background, to explain the absurdity. This being said, I purposely refused. I chose to not look up any details because I did not want any of the ridiculousness explained to me. I wanted to listen to the album dry.

What did I get out of it? I weirdly appreciated the usage of a wide breadth of musical styles.  Ragtimey piano, acoustic pop, and techno are just a few of the genres this album dabbles in. A lot of this album is sarcastic hogwash, which makes it hard to judge. Some things were ridiculous and comical, other things seemed sincerity. Both types of tracks had hits and misses. If you would like to listen to a unique album, flip this. If conventional pop is your thing- avoid at all costs.

Favorite Song: “Crossed the Line”

5/10

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Magicfingers:

Ah ok… SO... this is a real thing apparently. And it’s really bad, it's actually surprisingly bad, and that’s saying something because I expected it to be terrible. The human race would probably be better off if this didn’t exist. I know my life would be better if I hadn’t wasted the hour and half that it took to listen to this.

I’ve been informed that this album took a decade for him to make. That being said, I’m fairly certain he has been living in a cave for that last decade. It sound like he wanted to jump on the hype train of the early 2000’s techno pop era. The only probably is that he has no ability to produce electronic music, or sing, or write, or probably do much of anything. I imagine he’s the type of guy that struggle to open pickle jars.

I also found out that this guy is actually the sassy kid from the Goonies. Knowing that, this album made me even more sad, and partially ruined the Goonies for me. Thanks for that Corey.

SNOOP DOGG is on this thing and why am I not surprised. Just another piece of proof that Snoop Dogg will agree to anything. I put none of the blame on Snoop for this terrible piece of music though, because he literally does anything, it can’t be his fault.

So in conclusion, do yourself a favor and never ever listen to this, unless you like to be unhappy. I read on his website that the hard copies of this album were made from eco-friendly biodegradable materials...that’s a plus I guess. At least they will all disappear eventually and we won’t have to worry about future generations finding this and being ashamed of their ancient predecessors.

Favorite Song: “Working Class Hero” (It was the last song, so my favorite once it was over)

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